Defensive
The date is July 11, 2017. The time is approximately 9:30 PM.
I am in the basement of UIUC's Nugent Hall at the College of Media's 360 Sports and Entertainment camp. The MLB All Star game is on television and at least 15 campers have crowded into the room. We are not all actively watching baseball. A football is being tossed around, some people are focused on the foosball game on the other end of the room. My attention is dedicated to the Jimmy John's sandwich in my hand. A speaker blasts music over the sounds of the TV, but even the most crazed fans among us don't mind.
That is, until someone requests that Jay Z be added to the playlist. I roll my eyes, an action I intended to keep to myself. I get called out.
Something along the lines of "You got a problem with Jay Z?" is said.
The room seems quieter now. [It should be noted that I have no substantial opinions on Jay Z's music, I've never listened to much of it, and I understand and respect his growth in the industry.] I realize that I have to explain myself.
"He cheated on Beyonce." I say, more confident than anyone expected. "I don't support assholes."
The guy who requested the Jay Z song looks at me. He stands. I stand. I don't know what's going to happen, but I know that I can't back down now, even though I have already made my only point.
He tells me that "It's a little unclear."
"There's literally two albums about it," I remind him.
After a moment, he says, "The man makes good music."
"I don't care. He's a cheater."
I expect the room to gang up on me. I expect to get shut down. Instead, this guy high fives me and we both sit back down.
He high fives me, not because he agrees with me, but because I made my point and stood by it even though no one else in the room vocally supported it. What I said was accurate, and everyone knew it, but no one's mind was changed.
The vibe of the room goes back to how it had been. Someone hits a home run.
"Ni**as in Paris" plays.
I know that Jay Z isn't the worst offender when it comes to successful artists, actors, athletes, and politicians being terrible to their partners. I know that Jay Z is good at his job. I know that he and Beyonce have worked through their issues and now profit from them brilliantly. The problem is that men like Jay Z and men much worse than Jay Z get away with cheating and abusing and their fans keep listening and put them on worldwide charts.
Growing up, there was this rhetoric that we couldn't be successful if we weren't good to others. We were supposed to learn that success and loyalty were earned by our actions as well as our capabilities. Of course I've grown up a lot since then, and I know that the distinction between right and wrong isn't as clear cut as it was when I was 9.
We exist in a society where professional athletes get in more trouble with the public for kneeling during the national anthem than for abusing their partners. Kodak Black is a rapist. XXXTentacion is an abuser. Hugh Hefner is considered "legendary" because of how horribly he treated women. Almost every notable rock-n-roll artist of the 60s and 70s encouraged "baby groupie" culture (meaning: David Bowie and Mick Jagger and all your parents' other favorites were sexual predators).
I know I'm naive and idealistic, but there are actions and behaviors that ruin people for me. I hate seeing people dismiss cheaters and abusers and rapists just because they make good music or movies or just because they're rich enough to get away with it.
When I was at camp, I was reminded that, yeah, maybe I'm a little too defensive, but I also became even more aware of how quick our culture is to forgive people who haven't quite earned forgiveness.
I am in the basement of UIUC's Nugent Hall at the College of Media's 360 Sports and Entertainment camp. The MLB All Star game is on television and at least 15 campers have crowded into the room. We are not all actively watching baseball. A football is being tossed around, some people are focused on the foosball game on the other end of the room. My attention is dedicated to the Jimmy John's sandwich in my hand. A speaker blasts music over the sounds of the TV, but even the most crazed fans among us don't mind.
That is, until someone requests that Jay Z be added to the playlist. I roll my eyes, an action I intended to keep to myself. I get called out.
Something along the lines of "You got a problem with Jay Z?" is said.
The room seems quieter now. [It should be noted that I have no substantial opinions on Jay Z's music, I've never listened to much of it, and I understand and respect his growth in the industry.] I realize that I have to explain myself.
"He cheated on Beyonce." I say, more confident than anyone expected. "I don't support assholes."
The guy who requested the Jay Z song looks at me. He stands. I stand. I don't know what's going to happen, but I know that I can't back down now, even though I have already made my only point.
He tells me that "It's a little unclear."
"There's literally two albums about it," I remind him.
After a moment, he says, "The man makes good music."
"I don't care. He's a cheater."
I expect the room to gang up on me. I expect to get shut down. Instead, this guy high fives me and we both sit back down.
He high fives me, not because he agrees with me, but because I made my point and stood by it even though no one else in the room vocally supported it. What I said was accurate, and everyone knew it, but no one's mind was changed.
The vibe of the room goes back to how it had been. Someone hits a home run.
"Ni**as in Paris" plays.
I know that Jay Z isn't the worst offender when it comes to successful artists, actors, athletes, and politicians being terrible to their partners. I know that Jay Z is good at his job. I know that he and Beyonce have worked through their issues and now profit from them brilliantly. The problem is that men like Jay Z and men much worse than Jay Z get away with cheating and abusing and their fans keep listening and put them on worldwide charts.
Growing up, there was this rhetoric that we couldn't be successful if we weren't good to others. We were supposed to learn that success and loyalty were earned by our actions as well as our capabilities. Of course I've grown up a lot since then, and I know that the distinction between right and wrong isn't as clear cut as it was when I was 9.
We exist in a society where professional athletes get in more trouble with the public for kneeling during the national anthem than for abusing their partners. Kodak Black is a rapist. XXXTentacion is an abuser. Hugh Hefner is considered "legendary" because of how horribly he treated women. Almost every notable rock-n-roll artist of the 60s and 70s encouraged "baby groupie" culture (meaning: David Bowie and Mick Jagger and all your parents' other favorites were sexual predators).
I know I'm naive and idealistic, but there are actions and behaviors that ruin people for me. I hate seeing people dismiss cheaters and abusers and rapists just because they make good music or movies or just because they're rich enough to get away with it.
When I was at camp, I was reminded that, yeah, maybe I'm a little too defensive, but I also became even more aware of how quick our culture is to forgive people who haven't quite earned forgiveness.
This is amazing. Your prose is fire, and I really admire you for standing up for what you believe in. I agree with you that we have a culture that worships celebrities without really looking at who they are as people, and we support their image when we buy their art or service. Even if their music or art is good, I agree, I find it to be a huge deal breaker if they suck as a person, and I can't appreciate their art anymore. I may have a different perspective in that I think you shouldn't cheat because it can really hurt someone else, but it's hard for me to make a snap judgement about a person's character only knowing they have cheated if I don't know any details about what their relationship is like (not trying to pardon Jay Z in any way though). Feel free to disagree with me about that, but I wholeheartedly support the other claims, that people shouldn't support abusive or predatory people.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree that cheating isn't anywhere near the same level of yikes as abusive/predatory people, all I'm saying is that our culture is too quick to forgive famous people in general. While Jay Z is by far not the worst offender, I think that people dismiss his behavior in a way that contributes to how our society is willing to forgive worse acts.
DeleteNice post. I agree that we shouldn't forgive famous people for terrible crimes just because they are talented, or even worse because they are rich. Though I'm not sure about equating cheating with raping or abusing. Maybe it's just me, but though cheating is wrong, it's not even close to the level of rape of domestic abuse.
ReplyDeleteI def see how my post could be read that way, but I absolutely do not equate cheating with rape/abuse. I just believe that the behavior of rich/talented people is disregarded too much in our culture and that it's all around problematic.
DeleteRetweet. I feel like we shouldn't just forgive people automatically for the horrid things they have done, or at least we shouldn't just act like it never happened. I don't like the thought that having enough money automatically just makes it okay to do whatever malicious things one wants and I think we should put a stop to it.
ReplyDeleteThis is great. I love that you stood by your opinion. I agree that people in higher places shouldn't get away with all the bad that they do. It's unfair to everyone else. I mean why do we have a bunch of laws in the first place!? I think that you addressed the issue nicely.
ReplyDelete